If I Only Had A Monkey And A Secret Army
To the tune of “If I Only Had A… Brain, Heart, Nerve” from the Wizard of Zoz


I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers
And all the birdies, too.
I’d be solving the riddles of
Minoto’s individ’les
If I only had a clue.
I’d know why the crab is raging
While I just sit here aging,
Not knowing what to do.
I could spring into action
And achieve satisfaction
If I only had a clue.
Oh, I could tell you why The Sun is looking poor
And the bear climbed up the Tower and what’s more
I’d get a key and go explore.
I would find a pail with nothin’, and RainCloud who is puffin’
Up in the sky so blue.
I would flood the sink for nippers to be used before Yom Kippurs
If I only had a clue.

Then I’d lower down the pulley, put box in front of bully,
Who’s square and rather blue.
Then the Phoenix would kick the fire ball and then real quick
I’d know exactly what to do.
I would empty out my bucket, on fire ball then I'd pluck it
Away from Bully Blue.
Then the Small Ball would fool the Golfing Bird who’d lose his claw tool
Which I’d know just how to use.
I’d use it to remove, the board from the window
Then I’d take the board with me and we would go
To see the Bear, fly through the air.
He’d karate chop the ice block, and split it into small rocks
Of Chilly H2OOOOOO
Which would make the Sun feel Sunny and eventually Pink Bunny
Could swing high and then swing low.

But before I could fix his swing, I’d have to do one more thing
To make his wish come true.
I’d take Sun’s mask and use it on the Cloud (it would confuse it)
So the Jet Man could fly through.
Then our dear Uncle Combover, would give his Jet so Rover,
Could leave the chain he’d used.
And that chain would fix the swing so Pink Bunny could do his thing
And then I’d know just what to do.
I’d cut the cable while the Hare flew through the air
The antenna would then no longer be there
To hypnotise Crab with blue eyes.
Monkey Girl’d be liberated, because of course she’s fated
To be with her Love True.
And there’d be celebration all around Minoto Nation
If I only had a clue.

Then I’d get the monkey end, only, one end, not two.